recent journal pages and some food for thought links

      

So,  it seems I've a very bad habit of setting up circumstances or expectations that leave me feeling  constantly overwhelmed and behind.  I hate that feeling. I always feel like I need to do more, do better, try harder, be more disciplined. I'm very good at being self critical which really doesn't help get me anywhere but more overwhelmed when I really think about it. I was looking for a quote in Sabrina Ward Harrison's  Brave on the Rocks book when I stumbled across a page she wrote about what she termed "the Betterness Complex". I know it's a pretty common feeling out there amongst many. We are so hard on ourselves, and each other too.
         

I've been mulling on that lately as I go along.

I've been enjoying Ali Edwards' 52 Creative Lifts Newletter (sign up for free here), and I think it was her newsletter that led me to this  post by Liz Lamoreux. I love her thoughts on how we make assumptions, fill in the blanks. That was a new way of looking at the "I should be more because she..." game we play. I don't think we should compare ourselves to others anyway, because it often leads to judgement of ourselves or others, and Liz's thoughts are another reason not to; because we really don't even know the whole story, but just what we assume. Good things for me to think about as I work on  restructuring my perspective and priorities.

       

         

I really am focusing on it this year, on getting organized vs. overwhelmed. And I think it all starts with my thoughts. On being content as is. So really, instead of accomplishing more, I think I need to grow in the direction of acceptance, understanding, not comparing or always striving to be more, do better. On believing I am enough. Trying to break things down to what really matters and get those priorities more firmly established in my thinking, and therefore daily life.  As I was looking at my journal, words like these that I have written to myself keep appearing:

               
I'd say that's the biggest difference I feel I've commited myself to, in 2012, to keep taking baby steps even when I feel like "it" will never happen; that I will never get organized, or acheive the peaceful, joyful, contented existence I long for. I just know we should not quit, and when I focus on that (not quitting), vs. all that the pieces it takes to acheive what I'm striving for, I feel just a tiny bit more hope and a tiny bit less overwhelmed. It's possible, I know it is, so in 2012, I'm not quitting.

Comments

[Eugenia]

Well said and I needed to hear it. Thank you.

Never never never never give up.
Winston Churchill

[Diana Giffin]

This is a really good thought-provoking post, Pam (and some awesome pages - I love the bright colors!). I took two extensive on-line tests - a right brain/left brain creativity test (I was 50% left and 51% right - don't ask me why they add up to 101%!) and an in-depth personality test, in which my strongest trait is conscientiousness, which they went on to say means I have to do things in a certain sequence of steps and am a perfectionist - but I'm also a creative person. These traits fight each other but I remind myself that's who I am and I have to be gentle with myself and not compare myself (and the amount of output of my creative work) with others, because we are complex beings and are much happier being who we are and getting as much done as feels right to us. Some people are creative energizer bunnies, but I'm just not one of them! :)

[Martha Richardson]

Fabulous post!

[Jenny Petricek]

So true...it's so easy to be overwhelmed by all life throws at us. I want to be making a lot more art, but my career as a full-time English teacher makes it difficult at times. Some nights I don't have the energy, while other nights I have an endless pile of essays or quizzes to grade. Throw in family obligations, and it's so easy to deny ourselves the opportunity to do something good for ourselves!

Thanks for writing so eloquently about this struggle, and especially for the "DON'T QUIT" reminder! It was just what I needed today!

[sharon from farm and fru fru]

i just read this quote...."comparison is the thief of joy...." so true. it's just hard to feel "good enough" and be satisfied isn't it?

[Lisa]

I think we are all feeling this same was as I have read so many posts on this issue...and made me think of a recent great post on "good enough" that you might like./...

http://www.superherojournal.com/2012/02/07/my-new-mantra-let-it-be-simple/

[Lana Kloch]

thanks for sharing your revelation which many of us share and offering another way of living our lives. i agree "comparison is the thief of joy". BE

[Patty Radish]

Hearing words like this from somebody as creative and talented as you really gives me hope!

[tracy b]

Pam,
this truly resonated with me today- I just had an hour long conversation/venting session with a friend about all of this. makes me feel better just knowing we are not alone :)
take care and thanks again for saying what needs to be said,
Tracy

[Chelsy]

I've been thinking about these same things! We're on the same frequency. Beautiful pages, dreamy. Thanks for this post.

[Rhonda]

I love looking at your inspiring artwork and have really enjoyed embroidering your sweet samplers. I don't comment very often but thought this post was thought provoking. I have recently read a book by Martin Gayford called Man with a Blue Scarf: On Sitting for a Portrait by Lucian Freud. Something that really resonated with me was this: "As with any creative project - writing a book, for example, is the same - success is partly a matter of stamina, and also what Lucian Freud likes to call 'morale': the confidence required to simply keep going." I really hope we can all summon up that confidence when things feel like they are getting a bit much. Simply keep going.

[Sandy]

Wonderful post, beautiful art. I have a lot of the same thoughts for this year. My word is accept so I'm really trying to quit being so perfect and focus more on the things that matter and what I can control and not worry about being so perfect in every other aspect. Life is too short to worry about it all.

[Stacy~Creativemuse]

Hey Pam loved hearing your organized vs overwhelmed. I'm trying a three pronged effort with others smashed in. I 1st am loving Julie Morgenstern's Organized from the inside out. I am personally a bit beyond that so I am reading her SHED book. GREAT book Loving it. I have used flylady but feel like my CREATIVE self isn't honored there so using her ideas for routines with SPEED CLEANING by Jeff Campbell(WHEN I;m tidied up enough to really Clean) So my Creative self loves Julie and I have found HANANAH KEELEY who wants us to Play house with the personalities we have not to FIT on ones we don't hold true to ourselves. So This is my New CHOICE in LIFE to provided more enrichment to me and all I love....Love your blog, art, and Endeavors.