breast cancer awareness month

Here's a favorite photo of my Mom and me, waaaaayyyy back when, sometime in the late 60's. I just love everything about it. When my husband brought it home from my Dad's house not long ago, it brought tears to my eyes, it just captures the love and intamacy of a mother and child so well. It was not long after this, or maybe already, that my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 38 and had a radical mastectomy. Poor girl. She fought hard for 12 years, going in and out of remission, and having many more surgeries and treatments as the cancer metastasized to her lymph nodes, bones and brain. She passed away at age 50, when I was in high school.

I miss her. I wonder how much I am like her. I inherited my Mom's love for shelling (that's me bent down, for gathering I'm sure), and her love of creating. She dabbled in many many creative pursuits, from stitching and clothes sewing to painting and macremé. I often think how wonderful it would be to have that creative relationship, as well as the obvious Mother/Daughter relationship.Wonderful, I'm sure.

Here's one of her oil paintings that I found the other day and brought home where it rests in our entry:

         

Another thing I inherited from my Mom apparently is my love of journaling. My Mom kept journals, a different form than I do, not visual journaling, but writing about her experience. It was her dream to write uplifting articles for women that were living with cancer as she was. She never did get any of them published. Until now, that is. My little brother recently created a blog in her honor and posted all of her cancer journal entries. As those of you that blog know, you have to hit "publish" before you can share whatever you've written with the world. So now, 30 years later, my Mom has those thoughts she was hoping to turn into articles somewhere where other people can read them. Something else I inherited from her I guess. :) I'll be adding a link to my sidebar, I hope you might take a moment or two to get to know her a little. I think she'd be honored.

Of course, being the daughter of a woman that discovered breast cancer at age 38, and having both maternal and paternal grandmothers that also had breast cancer (both sides matter now, not just maternal), doctors have been very good about aggressively checking me. I had my first mamogram before I was 30. Thankfully, both the detection and treatments of breast cancer have improved dramatically over the years. I have been tested for the BRAC gene and was thrilled to find I didn't have it, but really, since we don't know if my Mom had that kind of breast cancer or not, it doesn't mean that I might not be predisposed to what kind she had. I also get yearly ultrasound breast check after my mammogram just to be extra careful. One thing I used to do is schedule all my yearly tests at once, until an oncologist suggested that by spreading out my yearly OBGYN visit, and mammograms, It'd be possible to discover something within 6 months vs. a year. I thought that was a good suggestion for all women, so I'm passing it on to you.

When the French Brocante crown didn't sell at the Remnants of the Past event, I was somewhat relieved, I just loved it so much. Then again, once you decide to let go of something, you have kind of moved on from it already, and then I thought, I have a better way to use it: auction it off for breast cancer research, this being Breast Cancer Awareness month. So that's what I'm going to do! If you are interested in the crown, just leave a comment on this post with the amount of money you'd like to donate. (Check the previous comments to make sure you haven't already been outbid). On November 1, I'll lovingly pack up and ship the crown to the winner and will donate the entire purchase price to breast cancer research in honor of my Mom, my queen (get it?). I know she'd be tickled about this too. As I previously said, they've made such wonderful strides in breast cancer research and awareness, and I'm hoping to add another drop in the bucket by sharing something I created, hoping some of you will join me! xo

{Boy, this is turning into a personal blog, not a craft one...more creating coming soon, promise!}

 

Comments

[Tammy Gilley]

teary. love this. xo

[susan]

the photos are so sweet, must have been hard for you both. i imagine for her knowing she was leaving her children behind...i'm sure she is so proud of you and what you are doing. much love, susan

[Martha Richardson]

Thank you for sharing...I have a lump in my throat with all you shared, the pictures and I will read the blog. I have a sister that is now an 11 year survivor and I donate every time I can. I will donate $50.00 in your Mom's honor ;)

[Danee Kaplan]

What a beautiful post. We are also people before we are crafting so never ever feel bad or guilty about posting something personal.

I lost my dad 4 years ago and wrote a blog post last april. (http://rainingjellybeans.blogspot.com/2011/04/daddys-little-girls.html) I seriously don't even remember writing it- it just flowed out of my fingers into the keyboard.

I am well into adulthood- not high school student. I can't imagine what you lived though; what your father had to deal with I am happy you have art and words from your mom.
this april.
I'll donate $60 the crown is spectacular

[Robin Thomas]

I am so sorry that your family lost your beautiful mother.

I am sending you a big hug from here and know that your story touched me.

[Janey Jennings]

Pam, I am so moved by this post. My mother also died of breast cancer at the age of 39. I have a small journal my mother left behind, she was also an artist. What a tribute to her, I am honored to follow her blog.
Janey

[joei]

I have never seen such a strength of love, both you and, your mom, your little brother ... love and hugs to you Pam.

[kelly]

pam- it's gorgeous and your mom would be SO thrilled with what you've turned out to be. :) I'll say $100. Wish I could do more... Hugs to you. What a wonderful way to honor your mom.

[gina armfield]

Wow what a tender entry - I am not a crier but must say this heartfelt post drove me to tears. Thank you for sharing this. Your brother's blog is a beautiful testament as well. xo g

[alexandra s.m.]

I found your blog thanks to Pinterest and I'm touched by your post and your art.

Thank you for sharing ~

[Dianne]

Oh Pam... your story of you and your mom sounds so much like my own. I too got my creativity from my mom, who was a wonderful artist. She was diagnosed and had a radical mastectomy and lymph node removal at the age of 32... This was in 1964. She was lucky in that they got it all and she was cancer free until she was diagnosed with esophogeal cancer in 1992. She passed away from it in 1993. I try to imagine what our relationship would be like now in sharing our creativity and love of art. And what an honorable and lovely thing, for your brother to share her journals.

[Cherie Wilson]

Thank you for sharing her story, your story, the precious photos.......and her painting. So much good. I know that such "good" isn't easy to loose. I lost my BFF 4 years this friday to breast cancer as well. She also left behind a devoted husband and sweet girl of 10 and her little guy,6. I hope you will feel the sunny yellow hug from me to you courageous Pam! I see so much YELLOW here with your Mama's painting and photos!! That is so sweet.XO

[Tracy]

Beautiful post. My mother was diagnosed in 1962 and only survived six months. I was 2, the youngest of 4 children. I look like her, have her mannerisms, likes and dislikes and creativity (so I'm told) which reinforces nature vs nurture to me. I miss her every day even though I don't remember her at all. My sister who looks exactly like my Dad was dianosed with a very aggressive breast cancer in 1996. She had radiation, chemo and a stem cell transplant. Has been in fabulous health since.
Thanks so much for sharing your story.

[Chelsy]

Thank you for sharing this post! I absolutely love that first photo! Such love! She was very talented, her oil painting is amazing. Thank you for the advice as well.

[Gabrielle]

Oh Pam I'm so sorry to hear this about your Mother, Wow her painting is amazing and I can see where you get your talent. I did not have breast cancer in my family history but the last time I was with you at the Rose Bowl a few months past and I found out I had breast cancer. I look at the pictures when we where there and I had all of my hair. I'm lucky so far but early detection is the key...thanks for sharing I would love to check her published journals...